This is my life:

1. I have entirely too much beer and cheese in my refrigerator. I can fit little else.

2. Every morning I wake up with a new fear, each of which involve work.

3. Sometimes my fears come true. Which, of course, does not mitigate the creation of new fears.

4. I've eaten 3 servings of tofu today and my stomach is happy.

5. My cat, though maturing, still finds enormous glee in rolling every last square of toilet paper onto the bathroom floor.

6. I've been negligent in lifting weights lately. My 94-year-old grandma, on the other hand, just purchased herself some hand weights. And my 61-year-old mother lifts weights before school nearly every day. Hmmm.

7. Dragon continues to work his magic for me. No improper innuendo in that statement. Trust me. God bless him just the same.

8. For the love of God, would people at work stop using that dirty sponge that has been sitting at the bottom of the sink for months to clean out the coffee pot! Sponges breed germs. Everyone knows that!

9. Bills? What bills?

10. The sweater I am wearing is a nice sweater. But, I picked it up off the floor this morning. Gave it a good sniff. Then pulled it over my head. It works. I've received no complaints.

11. I've read the same first page of "In Cold Blood" for three nights in a row. When will I graduate to the second page??

12. Tomorrow is Friday and I will have to face the prospect of working every day for the next 5 weeks.

13. Life is good.

Installment #1 in My Book, "The Joys of Working in the Male World"

After a brief conversation with an infrequent co-worker, I received this e-mail.

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way or anything, but you may want to button one more button on your shirt before you cause someone to get too excited! I didn't see anything but there was potential, I hope I haven't embarrassed you! The shirt is very cool by the way, I like the pattern. Just thought you should know, please don't think Im a perv."

For the record, ALL of my buttons were buttoned on a relatively moderate shirt.

I guess I'm gonna have to start making more liberal use of the double-sided tape.