If Only I Were Good With Numbers

Well, I just got home from my first (though, technically my second) public meeting as the project presenter. Our project was passed, but I don't feel good about my performance. I was nervous. Noticeably so. And when I first started speaking, my mouth was dry making the words hard to form. I said unintelligable and unremarkable things. But, the longer I stood up at the podium, the more comfortable I felt. Unfortunately, I also felt comfortable enough to run at the mouth a bit, saying things that normal, professional people would never say. Ugh. My stomach hurts. I did have a couple of triumphs - I was able to produce a document that I could not possibly have been expected to carry with me. And I was able to explain the erosion control measures that we will so dutifully place on the site. The low point, and it was a low point, came when I was asked to add up the parking spaces of the site on cue with no calculator. With everyone waiting in silence as I added. Deadening silence. Now, I live and die by my TI-86, so this would have been no small feat even if I had been alone in a room with all the time in the world. It was ugly. Seconds passed like minutes and I could feel my brain clouding over. Adding a few numbers and then starting over. Crap, crap, crap! Could anything worse have possibly happened?? I might as well be standing naked in front of these people. My brain hides behind my calculator like my waist hides behind control-top panty hose. It was awful. Impressively awful. Thankfully, I'll move on with our vote of approval and pray that at the next zoning meeting in one month I will be able to surpress my anxiety...and I will also remember my calculator.