Sunday Night Round-Up

It's getting late and I must (MUST) awaken by 4am tomorrow to compensate for neglecting (clarification: it's an earned neglect) to go to work today. Despite the fact that the specific client I am aiming to please tomorrow is absolutely a wretchedly absurd group, I still feel obliged to keep my word and complete an item before the break of dawn. That said, this will be a short blog (but longer than all of the blogs I have written in the past week (and possibly the last month)).
The following are a few odd points I gleaned from the Sunday NY Times:

1. PLUTO (thankfully) will remain a planet, according to the International Astronomical Union. I had no idea that Pluto was under threat of being stricken from the planet status, but, as such, I am relieved at the news. However, I feel shaken to the core at the knowledge that, based on the "new" definition of planet, other big ole rocks in the sky may now classify as planets as well. That, of course, means that those handy memory tricks we grew up with as children to remember the nine planets orbitting the sun no longer hold water. (I myself never used memory tricks because, inevitably, I would forget the trick. And now I realize what a waste of time that would have been anyway!) As the Times notes, "The big question is, should planethood be a cultural or a scientific ruling?"

2. Venezuelans love their Scotch. As Venezuela experiences an economic boom due to soaring oil prices, sales of Scotch whiskey have also soared (Consequently, the sale of Scotch is more than likely down in the U.S., unless you happen to be apart of the small contingency within the Bush-Cheney fold). I'll be honest, after reading the NY Times article, I'm still not at the bottom why the Venezuelans have a penchant for Scotch whiskey verus, say, Kentucky bourbon...

3. Twice as many Americans shop at Wal-Mart over the course of a year than voted in the last presidential election. Though the actual numbers are obvious, the comparison is still a shock and disappointment to me. I hate Wal-Mart.

4. Most Lesbians would prefer their partners remain women. I've, at times felt trapped in my body. I have experienced the normal desires, such as I would like to be a touch thinner, I'd like my legs to be a tad longer, I'd be thrilled if my feet were smaller so that I would no longer trip over them, etc. You know, the normal stuff. Thankfully (THANKFULLY), I've never desired to sprout a penis. I've got nothing against penises, God knows, but I'd personally never like to own one of my very own. This is, sadly, not the case for all women. And their lesbian partners (assuming that these individuals are lesbians with partners) are not happy about it. They say, "Hey, I'm a lesbian because I'm attracted to women - not because I've harbored a desire to date a man who was once a woman." And who can blame them? I wouldn't exactly be thrilled if my boyfriend decided to start overdosing on estrogen. I say relationships are hard enough without adding in the extra factor of desiring sex-altering surgeries and medication. It definitely makes my hope for more defined triceps someday seem, well, superficial.

5. "Bring it on" is not a foreign policy. This did not come from the NY Times, but I have been enjoying this slogan since I spotted it on a bumpersticker yesterday.

Okay. It's bedtime. My sloppy work here is done.

The Lovely Way the Sunshine Bends

These sunflowers have had me beaming all day.

Lollapalooooooooza 2006

I've just returned today from Lollapalooza in Chicago. I've so much say about that extravagana...BUT since I've returned:
A. I've been mauled by my own cat in an effort to extract her from my parents' house
B. I've driven my car very hard over a pile of bricks causing a
C. Flat tire and
D. Bent rim.
E. I've called AAA to fix the tire and
F. my parents to retrieve my cat from my increasingly heated car where I certainly would be waiting for "90 minutes to 2 hours" according to my friendly AAA call-answerer. (He hoped that I would "be very pleased with all aspects of AAA's service.")
G. My parents passed me by as I sat by the curb and
H. I found out the hard way that they had neglected to carry their cell phones (newly acquired this past Christmas for just such occasions as these), but
I. they did manage to remember my cell phone number to call me from a pay phone somewhere in Mariemont (after realizing that clearly I was not in Mariemont).
J. Upon their return trip, they passed me by AGAIN as I stood waving with both arms, leaping in the air to gain their attention.
K. Thankfully, they were only messing with me and this time pulled over to help.
L. I pushed my cat into a pillowcase and handed her off to my mother when, at the same instant, I was greeted with cussing by my father who had just
M. pulled my suitcase out of my trunk in an effort to get to my spare tire and had not realized in time that my suitcase was, in fact, unzipped.
N. I reached the back of my car in time to witness my father stuffing my dirty clothing and toiletries back into my suitcase, a few pairs of sweat-infused panties still sticking to the asphalt.
O. My dad and I began the tire-changing process, unscrewing bolts and retrieving the spare from the trunk. However, we were stopped short when
P. my dad thrust his hand into a dark place in my trunk and pulled his hand out with a deep gash in his finger.
Q. As we worked to stop the bleeding, the AAA man arrived and completed the work we had begun.
R. With tire replaced, cat transferred back into my safe hands, and hugs goodbye, I was on my way home.

It's good to be home. More about Lollapalooza later.